Dear Uncle Blabby,

I have been in love with the same guy for five years.  We fell in love right away, we’ve always had great sex and never had any problems. We fit together like gloves and our friends always remark on what a great couple we make.  We are now both reaching our mid-thirties and I want to get married.  He still wants to “chase the dream.”  He says he wants to live with the jet set a while longer and I grew tired of that scene a long time ago.  Believe me, I not a stick-in-the-mud.  I can still rock.  Am I fooling myself?  Should I be looking for someone who has found what he wants in life and is happy with it, or should I wait this out?  I don’t want to end up getting burnt.

No name,
Fairfield County

Dear ‘soon to be burnt,’

You and your partner do not seem to have the same goals. He seems to be having a mid life crisis, while you on the other hand seem to be more stable, and have found what you want. Some people are more concerned with the chase, than with the prize. He should get some advice from a trusted friend, other than you. If he loves you nearly as much as you seem to love him, he should work on trying to keep you. If he insists on living with the ‘jet set’, I say ‘jettison’ him as quickly as possible.

No mid-life crisis for me,
Uncle Blabby

Uncle Blabby,

A few months ago my lover had an affair with a 20-year old guy who knew he was already in a relationship.  Everyone knew—friends and  family — and no one told me.  I feel betrayed on many levels.  It’s really difficult to describe. Now I can’t look at our friends and I hate the kid who didn’t respect our relationship.  I think I should meet a man and have sex with him just for vengeance.  What do you think?

A.B.,
Manchester

Dear A.B.,

You don’t mention any blame on the part of your partner. To put all the blame on the 20 year old is unfair. As far as your friends go, sometimes it can be difficult to discuss such things. Relationships are totally unique to each couple and the limits each give the other are not always widely known. Your friends perhaps did not know if your partners behavior was within the scope of your relationship, and therefore did not feel comfortable discussing it with you. It sounds like the one person who did know the boundaries is your partner. Have a frank discussion with him about the parameters of your relationship, and come to some agreement. To go out and have a meaningless sexual encounter for vengeance does not seem to make sense to me, but as always, if Uncle Blabby can help in any way, contact me via keepintouch@motroline-online.com.

True Giver,
Uncle Blabby

Dear Uncle Blabby,

I’m a 23-year-old gay male and my partner is 38 years old.  My problem is that my man always leaves my unfulfilled when we have sex.  I give him oral sex and he enjoys fucking me. If I want to relieve myself I have to masturbate.  I have asked him to give me head but he always has an excuse, he has a pain in his side, his back is sore, his knees hurt or some other reason.  Can you give me some clever rude advice on how to ask him in a crappy way to give me some head?

Rick,
Hartford

Dear Rick,

He’s not going to give you head. If he enjoyed giving you head, he would already be doing it. The best you can hope for is that he at least cuddles with you and helps you get yourself off. If this is a revelation to you, you are nieve. Depending on the scope of your relationship, you may be able to get him to allow you to get head from elsewhere. Otherwise just suck it up, then wipe it up.

Loves to get head,
Uncle Blabby

Send questions to Uncle Blabby, c/o Metroline, 495 Farmington Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105 or e-mail keepintouch@metroline-online.com

Tags: 2011, 38-08, LATE APRIL