Dear Blabby,

I really enjoy the Halloween holiday. Why is it that this holiday is so much a favorite of gay boys, no matter what their age? The best adult Halloween parties are at gay clubs or at gay households. Straight people just sort of stop celebrating it once they have a kid or settle down. What is up with that? Do you know the origins of Halloween?

Phil
West Hartford, Conn.

Dear Phil,

The feast originates from a Christian tradition, celebrating All Souls day. Now back to your real question. Gay boys like it because they can get all dressed up and be out in public without anybody gawking at them. Gay people instinctively know how to have fun. They aren’t concerned with the hang-ups that limit straight guys. Straight people think that as you get older you by necessity need to become more conservative. Gay guys think that as you get older you need to become more creative (to compete with all the younger guys). I say, just go out and have fun. It’s a wonderful time of year to let your hair down and party.

Always in costume,
Uncle Blabby

Uncle Blabby,

What does it mean to be Fashionably Late? Why does this term apply to gays so much?   

Lloyd from Vernon, Conn.

Dear Lloyd:

The term ‘fashionably late’ was coined in Hollywood during the late 1930’s and early 40’s. Celebrities would arrive just a little late so as to cause a stir and get noticed. You have hit upon one of Blabby’s pet peeves. Depending on the event or the situation, it is rarely acceptable to be late. The only time it is OK in my opinion, is if your tardiness does not interfere with, or otherwise inconvenience others. I think it is extremely rude to arrive at a dinner party late, or to a meeting late, or to meet up with others late, etc. Obviously things can happen when traveling, and depending on the length of travel, some allowances should be given.  With that said, considerate people allow themselves extra time so as not to inconvenience others. I think too often gay people inexcusably refer to “gay time” as a means of trying to justify their own lack of consideration.

Always on Time, Uncle Blabby

Dear Uncle Blabby:

I have been active in the gay scene for some time now and am interested in settling down into a for-real LTR.  But I keep coming up against the age-old problem of finding honesty in the gay community.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that there are no honest gay guys out there, but it seems that when it comes to dating it is a rarity.  I often wonder if this trait comes from having to hide from being oneself while growing up and coming to terms with who we are.  Being in the closet requires a fair amount of lying in order to maintain the straight charade.  Has that habit become so ingrained that it carries over into the day to day life of a gay person?  Anyway, my question is do you have any suggestions as to how to cut through the bull and tell if this is the guy I want to invest time in towards that LTR?

Jay
East Meadow, N.Y.

Dear Jay,

I think your perception of the way gay men lie about being in the closet is right on. And yes I do think that it makes it easier to continue to lie. That said, when it comes to things that matter (i.e. a LTR for instance) there can be no room for deceit. Integrity is a very hard thing determine. I really don’t have any super fast way of helping you find out. You seem to have a sense that guys are not truthful, however. Use that same intuition to find the one that is. It will be worth the wait.

No Bull here,
Uncle Blabby

Send questions to Uncle Blabby, c/o Metroline, 495 Farmington Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105 or e-mail keepintouch@metroline-online.com