You must be more attracted to one than the other. If he’s the same one that seems to be giving you the “vibe,” then find a way to discuss it with him, without his partner there. I said discuss, not play.
Dear Uncle Blabby,
Thanks for all your insightful advice. Can you help me out? I have two friends who are dating. Every once in a while they invite me to their house and we drink a bit and just relax. Nothing sexual has ever happened, but I feel the tension in the air. Sometimes I just feel like we all want to strip off and have a grand old time but then we get shy about it all. I often want to make a suggestion that might lead us to that three-way adventure, but am afraid they’d get mad if that isn’t their thing. How can I find out if that’s what they want without jeopardizing our relationship?
Steve in Trumbull, Conn.
Dear Steve,
You have an interesting situation. You don’t indicate why you think that they might be up for a three way. Usually you can tell. What I have found however is that it is common for only one of the partners to actually be looking for a third, and the other partner just goes along. You must be more attracted to one than the other. If he’s the same one that seems to be giving you the “vibe,” then find a way to discuss it with him, without his partner there. I said discuss, not play. I don’t advocate playing behind the other partners back, just talking about the possibility of a three way.
You may want to start by asking, “So have you and xxx ever played with another guy together”? That should give you an indication of which way they are leaning. If it works, mention that you have a cute older friend that’s interested that writes a local column!!!
Have had my share of 3 ways,
Uncle Blabby
Dear Uncle Blabby,
Say you find yourself drinking in a bar, and then suddenly you wake up in your car, or in a familiar place, without any memory of the night before. Can you offer us some suggestions as to how to deal with this situation? I know a few guys who’ve been drugged and they didn’t know what to do. Please help!
Sam in Colchester, Conn.
Dear Sam,
The situation you describe is more common than you think. I hear more and more people discussing it now. One thing that you can do to protect yourself is to not put your drink down. Ever. Another is to try to go out with at least one other person that you know. That way, you can each watch out for each other. Gone are the good ole days when if you woke up the next day without any recollection of the night before, it usually meant that you had a great time, and you asked your friends how badly you embarrassed yourself.
Still trying to remember some of those nights,
Uncle Blabby
Uncle Blabby,
I’m going to Ft. Lauderdale in a few weeks for some fun in the sun. I have a feeling you’ve been there. Can you offer me some suggestions as to where to hang out with all those cute Florida boys?
Thai from New London, Conn.
Dear Thai,
You are correct in your assumption that I have gone and do go to Lauderdale often. I try to get there at least thee times per year. The last time I was there, I met a wonderful guy that I really enjoyed spending time with, so I’m sure I’ll be back more often.
To answer your question, which bars to go to really depends on what you are looking for. I can get you into a few, and then if it’s not what you’re looking for, just ask. If you want a dance club, younger guys, mostly hot, try Alibi. If you are looking for a club where younger guys hang out that like older guys, try Chardee or Tropics. If all else fails, ask Uncle Blabby to use his “boy” while you’re there. You won’t regret it!!
Happiest in Lauderdale,
Uncle Blabby
Send questions to Uncle Blabby, c/o Metroline, 495 Farmington Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105 or e-mail keepintouch@metroline-online.com