Dear Uncle Blabby,

Do you think it was right, in the generation of our grandparents, that once you met your partner and married, you were required to remain with your partner “ ’til death do you part?” In this day and age, it seems more people divorce than marry (although I know that is not mathematically possible).

On the other hand, people who are not happy with their loved ones should have the choice to get out of the relationship, especially if it becomes violent. How can we find a balance and return our moral and religious values to their intended roots?

Questioning Marriage in Norwich, Conn.

Dear Questioning:

What is “right” between any two people is only what those two people determine is right for them. I think our parents and grandparents sometimes stuck it out in situations that would have been better for all if they didn’t. On the other hand, in today’s society, I think people are too quick to throw in the towel as soon as there is the least bit of conflict in the relationship, without ever giving it a chance to work. Obviously, somewhere in the middle is the right answer.
Violence in a relationship should never be tolerated and those individuals need to separate themselves as soon as the violence begins. It never gets better. I’m not sure which “moral and religious values” you’re referring to. As far as I can tell, the religious and moralists would rather us burn in hell, than to allow any two of us truly in love to even get married.

What’s right is not always Right,
Uncle Blabby

Dear Uncle Blabby,

I love your column and am a loyal reader. You commented a few issues ago about the dwindling number of gay bars in Hartford. I want to take this opportunity to expand that complaint to the rest of Connecticut. In the large cities that boast a gay life there is an unsatisfying number of great places to have a drink with fellow queers. The good ones that are there tend to be overcrowded and/or cater to specific people. There’s even a few towns that don’t have a gay bar! Uncle Blabby, where do you hang out? Are Rhode Island and Massachusetts taking away all the queer business?

Looking for a drink in Darien, Conn.

Dear Looking:

You bring up a very good question, and one in which there is no clear-cut simple answer. Some of the reasons why certain towns do not have a gay presence is that the town itself doesn’t want one. They make getting permits difficult, and enforcement strict. If the town doesn’t want you, you can’t survive. Another reason is that it’s difficult to make money at a gay bar. Everyone wants to go to the bar where the hot young guys are. But hot young guys don’t necessarily buy expensive drinks, and have more of a likelihood of using drugs, etc..  I’m not trying to make excuses, but owning and operating a bar, any bar is hard work. There is a real potential for getting ripped off, making it very difficult to make money. Perhaps you and some friends from Darien would like to open a club? I’ll be your first new customer.

Always looking for a cocktail,
Uncle Blabby

Uncle Blabby,

Are you really an uncle and if so, do you offer the same insightful and inquisitive advice to your nieces and nephews?

An uncle myself from West Hartford, Conn.

Dear Uncle:

Actually I am an uncle, and I’ve tried to give both of my nephew’s advice several times. Unfortunately, unlike most of my loyal readers, who read and benefit from my advice, both of my nephew’s are stubborn and uncompromising. It’s not because I haven’t tried!!

Uncle Blabby

Send questions to Uncle Blabby, c/o Metroline, 495 Farmington Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105 or e-mail keepintouch@metroline-online.com