I think the fact that we are now allowed to marry is a positive step in us being equal to our straight brothers and sisters.
Dear Uncle Blabby,
My long-term partner and I have been talking a lot lately about whether a gay wedding is right for us. How do you feel about defining a long-term relationship this way?
Bev, East Hampton, Conn.
Hi Bev,
I don’t think getting married defines a relationship. I think the fact that we are now allowed to marry is a positive step in us being equal to our straight brothers and sisters. People can be (and are) in long-term relationships without being married.
The act of marriage offers certain civil protections (and responsibilities), but does not have anything to do with defining the relationship. That definition belongs only to the two people involved.
Send my invitation c/o Metroline,
Uncle Blabby
Dear Uncle Blabby,
Could you please tell me exactly what the guidelines are for measuring a dick? I’ve met guys who claim to have an eight-inch dick, yet when their pants are down and the dick is up it’s not much bigger than my pinkie. How did they ever see eight inches? Is it measured from the butt hole to the tip or what?
Phil, East Providence, R.I.
Dear Phil,
You must have met guys that have an AOL account!! Some people measure their cocks and add 33%. Only God knows why, because unless they are never going to meet, the other person will obviously see the real deal (sorry Dan).
To accurately measure your penis, get yourself hard (it is permissible to use help here), and then place a ruler along the top edge. Gently nudge the ruler back to the base of your cock, and look at where the tip lies at the end of the ruler. DO NOT add 33%.
7.5”, cut and thick,
Uncle Blabby
Dear Uncle Blabby,
It seems every gay man I know who is over 50, knows the name of every porn star and every movie they have appeared in since 1980. Have they done anything with their lives other than watching gay porn?
Bob, Manchester, Conn.
Dear Bob,
By the tone of your letter, I assume that you are younger. You probably haven’t lived in an era where there weren’t several gay bars or clubs available. When these “over 50” guys were your age, one of the ways of getting off was to watch porn. There were few, if any, gay events to attend, or clubs to go to. We “over 50” guys have done plenty! It is because of us that you no longer have to use porn as your only way to get off. The next time you see one of us “over 50” guys, instead of ridiculing us, drop to your knees and thank us.
Ready to be thanked by you younger guys,
Uncle Blabby
Send questions to Uncle Blabby, c/o Metroline, 495 Farmington Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105 or e-mail keepintouch@metroline-online.com