Dear Blabby:

I read your column and wonder what qualifications you have to be dispensing advice. I mean do you have a degree in psychology, or are you trained in counseling? Your advice often makes sense, but at times I sit and scratch my head wondering what the hell you are talking about. Some people write in with very complex issues and your column is widely read from what I can tell. I’m just wondering how much faith I should put in your answers.

Bill S.

Dear Doubtful Bill S.:

I attended only the best schools, and have training in several areas. I do not have a degree in Psychology or Sociology. What I have is 35 years of practical experience and a mind for practical solutions. Most of the time when people write in, they already know the answer to their question. They are just looking for someone to validate their opinion. Occasionally I think I do provide some additional options to people who may not have thought of them all, and I always try to mix in as much humor as possible into my answers. Sometimes the questions are so serious in nature that it is hard to mix in that humor. Yours is not, so let me tell you that it takes several hours several times per week, on every issue, to read through all of the letters, decide on which ones get published, and formulate the outline of how I want to answer each. Some require research on the Internet, which I do myself. Blabby has no staff. Just Blabby.

Actually, it only takes about an hour an issue, but I did have you going.

Nothing but the Truth, so Help me God.
Uncle Blabby

Dear Uncle Blabby,

I have two nephews who are both in jail, and a very sick brother. My sister-in-law (not the mother of the two nephews) is terrific to my brother.  I call her my sister in law, but they are not married. They have lived together for 10 years so I just think of her and treat her as my sister-in-law. Without her I think my brother would already be dead. He can barely walk by himself, or prepare his own food, etc. She has been a God- send. My question is this. If my brother should pass away without a will, the condo he owns would go to whom? I’m sure he would want it to go to my sister-in-law, but I’m afraid that without a will, it would go to my two nephews. Can you help?

Bob from Newington

Dear Bob,

First let me offer my heartfelt best wishes for your brother, and his live-in companion. She truly does sound like a saint. While I am not a lawyer, and do not provide any legal advice I think I can answer your question. (If I’m wrong, please let’s hear from one of our attorney friends) Without a will, your brother would die intestate. What that means is that the local probate court judge gets to decide the disposition of his assets (using state guidelines of course). In this case I think that the house would pass to your two nephews. The rub here is that since they are both in jail the state might jump in and try to recover the costs of their incarceration. Unfortunately, that would leave your brothers live in companion without a home. I don’t believe she has any rights whatsoever without either being married or a valid will.

The easiest way to accomplish getting the house to pass to her would be for your brother to execute a final will and testament. This can be done by contacting an attorney in your area, and usually at a cost that is much more reasonable than you would think. If there are financial concerns, contact the lawyer referral service that covers your town and get competitive prices. Best of luck to you and your brother as you work through this sensitive issue.

There for the grace of God, go me.
Uncle Blabby

Dear Uncle Blabby:

I have a problem and don’t know who to talk to about it. I am in a relationship with my partner of 6 years. We are very happy together. We have good jobs, own our home together, and live very comfortably. We are not youngsters, nor are we old fogies. As far as everyone else knows we have the perfect relationship. One problem. My partner uses drugs. When we were first dating we both smoked pot together. After a while I was using it less and less, until about two years ago, I stopped all together. Since then, he has continued and now I think he also is using other drugs, but he says he isn’t.

Scared, New London

Dear Scared:

You’ve got bigger problems that just the drug use if you think your partner of 6 years is lying to you. There is nothing more fundamental to a healthy relationship than total and complete honesty, which leads to total and complete trust. Not to downplay the drug issue, as that can be a concern, but if in fact he is using more than pot, and he is lying to you about it, I would cut my losses and find someone else. Six years is a long time, so before you cut and run, be absolutely sure that you are correct. He can get help for the drug use, but lying is a fundamental character flaw.

Nothing but the Truth, so Help me God.
Uncle Blabby