cslang : having no contraband (as weapons or drugs) in one’s possession
9: habitually neat
Most people don’t take the time to realize that in order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty. However, as most of us know from experience, everything can become dirty without anything becoming clean. Like that guy sitting at the end of the bar. No matter how much therapy he gets, his mind will never be clean. And it seems the longer someone sits close to him, his mind starts getting dirtier as the night goes on. As if the alcohol somehow attracts filthy thoughts. Don’t argue with me on this one dude. I wrote this piece some time ago and have moved on. And besides, you look pretty stupid arguing with a magazine. Did we touch on the effects of booze on the brain?
Spring cleaning can mean all kinds of things. Some people look forward to that time of year for an excuse to re-decorate. Some like the idea of taking on new projects or hobbies. And for some it is a time to be feared. Like for me.
Memories of my youth come flooding back to me about all those spring projects my parents laid out for me to do. Didn’t they ever take into consideration how much of an imposition it was on my summer social life? I mean how could I get to the nude beach in time for a parking spot to be left? Didn’t they understand that no self respecting member of the community beach club would ever be caught dead with tan lines?
My best friend took to helping out so we could hit the road in time. I don’t know if it was because we were such good friend or if it was that I owned the car. Anyway, he soon was swallowed (see there goes that dirty mind crap I was talking about. Back to therapy guys.)
So there we would be ready to go and Mom would be standing at the end of the driveway holding the pool skimmer like some kind of mad drill sergeant. “You two are not going anywhere until the pool is ready for you brother to swim in.” Shit, let the little turd clean it himself. Don’t worry bro, I still love you. But the funny thing is that now I have become the clean one. Not a clean freak or anything, but I just naturally keep everything clean. I think it may be from my time in the Navy. Work it may, shine it must, and all that military crap. Strangely I feel much better when things are neat and in order. Including in my head. But that’s a whole different story.
Until later remember, wax on, then wax off. I’ll leave it up to that guy at the end of the bar to figure out just what is being waxed.
