Dear Uncle Blabby,

My family life hasn’t always been the best in the world. I am the second youngest of four children, and the only male. My problem is my father. He has always been very standoffish regarding our interaction. Even as a child, I can recall him paying much more attention to my sisters than he did to me. Our relationship took a turn for the worse when at age 18 I came out to my parents. Since then, he and I have hardly spoken. Now we are all grown, and have lives of our own. My sisters are all married, the two older ones with families. My mom has long since passed away. My dad now can no longer take care of himself, and there is no money for assisted care facility. None of my sisters have room to take my dad, and they have all expressed their opinion that I should take him. I don’t want him in my life now, since he never wanted me in his life before. But I’m torn. After all, he is my father. Please help.

Feeling helpless, Cromwell, CT

Dear Helpless:

The problem of taking care of an elderly parent is a very common one in today’s society. You do not present circumstances that are much different than most, with one very notable exception. The fact is that your father made a decision early in your life, basically indicating that you were not important to him. In life we all get to make decisions. Some are good, some bad. But every decision comes with consequences. In your case, I think your father has made your decision easy. He now will need to live with the consequence of his earlier decision of rejecting you. As hard as it might be, I think you should tell your dad and your sisters that the answer is no. He is not welcome in your home. But realize that making that decision also comes with a consequence.

Hopefully Helpful,
Uncle Blabby

Richie, Southington

Dear Richie,

You are dating one very hot guy, by your own admission. You also indicate that you don’t think he is cheating on you. He may flirt with others, but after all is said and done, he is going home with you! I say be thankful that you have such a good-looking boyfriend. Trying to change him will not work and will start to drive a wedge between you. Let him know how you feel and perhaps he could tone it down, but don’t expect him to. Keep a close eye on his overall behavior and if there comes a time when you do think he is cheating, deal with that issue. But for now, enjoy the fact that everybody else is jealous of you for being with the hottest stud in the place.

Always Getting Attention,
Uncle Blabby

Jon

Dear Jon,

Let me express my condolences on the loss of your partner of 20+ years. I know how devastating that can be. It sounds like you and John had a very healthy and strong relationship. Give thanks for the years that you had with him. Now that he is gone however, your life must go on. In fact in your heart I’m sure that you will agree that John would want you to have what you and John had together. I say go to dinner with him. Get to know him, and see what happens. Be careful of trying to hold him up to the “John” standard. This is a different relationship and should not be compared to any other. Good luck with your dinner date.

Moving On,
Uncle Blabby